Sex, we’re often told, is supposed to be mysteriously fun. Doing anything to ruin the mood, such as actively seeking your a partner’s consent, is not always considered “cool.”
Emily Best, founder and CEO of the indie film crowdfunding company Seed&Spark, wants to help change that myth with a NSFW web series called F*CK YES.
The first episode debuted Thursday, and it’s a candid three-minute clip of a couple realizing they didn’t bring a condom. The negotiation about what happens next manages to make the situation very sexy indeed.
Best, who worked with an all-women team to produce, write and direct the series, says she’s been thinking about the particulars of consent for many years.
About a decade ago, she received some books about BDSM from a good friend. Best wasn’t interested in practicing herself, but found the academic and historical perspective on consent fascinating and liberating, particularly because the idea of talking about and agreeing to certain sex acts seemed foreign.
“These people were asking for safe words and discussing limits beforehand, and as a cisgender hetero woman, I felt like I was robbed!” Best tells Mashable.
“If a girl leans in and whispers all the things she wants you to do to her, that’s not sexy?”
When discussing her realization with a male friend, he replied, “If you talk about it, it ruins the mood.”
Best had a compelling rejoinder. “I told him, ‘If a girl leans in and whispers all the things she wants you to do to her, that’s not sexy?’ and he immediately got it,” she says.
The goal of the web series, which will release several episodes, is to promote permission as sexy, and never uncool. F*CK YES intertwines affirmative consent between super steamy scenes with the actors.
Other episodes in the series include a lesbian couple discussing penetration, a teenage couple figuring out how to get to the first step, and a couple who has been with one another for a while navigating porn.
Best is using the hashtag “#ConsentIsSexy” to promote the series. The phrase gained popularity in recent years as students on college campuses began protesting sexual assault and advocating for increased education. The slogan has become an educational program taught in high schools, colleges and universities.
A behind the scenes shot from an upcoming episode called “Fingering”
Image: Adam Wiezer
Many, however, criticize the wording, arguing that consent shouldn’t be sexualized because it makes what should be an essential part of the sexual experience seem more like an option.
To that criticism, Best has an interesting point: “We all agree consent is necessary, but even the people who know this still have this idea that getting consent ruins the sex mood.”
She recalls a friend who taught sexual education courses packed with college-aged men asking, “How do I do it?”, in other words, “How do I ask for consent without ruining the moment?”
“Rather than making consent stressful — like, ‘consent, or else!’ — our goal of the series is to make getting affirmative consent a part of the sexual experience,” says Best.
In future episodes series, she hopes to include more voices and different kinds of couples, including a Muslim couple and a transgender person being honest about their sexual needs.
Behind the scenes of F*CK YES
Image: Adam Wiezer
The team that created F*CK YES includes King is a Fink, who made many extremely popular lesbian web series, Elisabeth Aultman, founder of RapeJoke.com, Lauren Schacher, co-host of the Chicks Who Script, and Erica Anderson, Seed&Spark’s head of crowdfunding and education. The team shot the entire project in a weekend.
You can find more updates and the episodes from the series by following their Facebook and Twitter accounts.
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