Nick Offerman's pizza farm is open for delicious business

In a sardonic new video from Funny or Die, Nick Offerman poses the very important question: why the heck are we trying to get kids to eat fresh fruits and vegetables when they could just eat some organic, naturally-grown pizza instead?

In this parody of the classic sun-drenched food commercials, Offerman wanders the ground of his junk food farm, boasting his produce’s natural properties. “Welcome to the Pizza Farm, where we’re hard at work growing the ripe, juicy pizzas your kids love,” says Offerman. “What could be healthier than this? Acres of pizza, kissed by the sun, stretching as far as the eye can see.”

And it’s not all just bushels of pizza — there’s also Sloppy Joes harvested straight from the earth, taquito trees and bushes of fried fish fingers! Nevermind the fact that the fish fingers are stapled to the leaves by a production intern.

This biting spoof is actually sponsored by the American Heart Association to promote healthier school lunches, and call attention to the fact that pizza, no matter how fresh, is still not a vegetable.

Health considerations aside, though, the idea of a pizza farm sounds like a stroke of brilliance.