April Fools! I faked my own death.

Some may hate April Fools’ Day and its flood of branded promotional pranks, but one fact that all millennials have learned to face is that we, too, have personal brands. What better way would there be to promote my own than by throwing the ultimate April Fools’ prank and faking my own death?

I have always been a tragic and poetic figure in the eyes of my family and friends, due to my big dreams and romantic approach to life. This quality would almost certainly result in an outpouring of grief in the event of my demise, which, if used correctly, could be converted into promotional value for The Feather Brothers, the folk duo I share with my co-worker Max Knoblauch, and our new single “Leaves Turning Colours”.

So Max and I purchased a small urn, filled it with oatmeal, and planned a tribute concert. While he booked bands and told everyone we know that I had passed away of natural causes, I had to lay low and watch The People vs. O.J. Simpson. The whole enterprise was very simple for me, in large part due to my natural ethnic and emotional connection to David Schwimmer.

Plus, I was no stranger to death-defying self-promotional stunts, having saved the life of Canadian rap icon Drake about a month and a half ago.

Video: Jake Fertig, Noah Throop

In the end, our prank worked like a charm. By the time artists like Dylan Nowik, Q. Ledbetter and Stevie and the Lion performed their covers, I could feel that the time was ripe for me to take the stage and announce that the whole tribute concert was an elaborate ruse.

“April Fools! I’m alive,” I exclaimed, and jaws dropped in the crowd as we performed a heart-rending version of “Leaves Turning Colours”, with my joyful friends and family throwing small plastic objects at Max and me to celebrate my resurrection.

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Image: Brittany Herbert, Loris Ravera

With the influx of new fans, the event was a major success. Though many people will never know how many people will attend their funeral, I know that for me the answer is a firm seven.

More importantly, I know that I have what it takes to be a strong, relevant brand, regardless of whether or not my girlfriend decides to speak with me again.

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